Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
