Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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