she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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