Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
