Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
