so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
drinking out of a sandbucket again
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
