I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
