That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
