Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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