My nipple is on Facebook.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
