All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
