Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
