Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
