what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
