That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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