I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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