every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
