Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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