too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
