so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
