I wish they made helmets for livers.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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