where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
