P.S. I can't hear my feet
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
