How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
