Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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