What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
sarcasm needs its own font
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
