Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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