Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
