Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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