I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Randomize
