Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
