just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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