I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
