So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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