i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sext me about skeletons
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
