garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
