you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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