life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
