He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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