how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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