Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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