Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
