im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
