So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
