i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
