Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
