dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
