I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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