that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
