We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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